obsexxed:

Carol Seleme

#OMG

Yahoo - Los Angeles Lakers forward Metta World Peace achieved a fairly incredible feat on Tuesday night, playing 15 minutes of his team’s 104-96 win over the New Orleans Hornets just 12 days after surgery on his left knee.

“Well, you know, I’m just too sexy for my cat. I’m too sexy for my cat. My cat. I’m just too sexy for my cat. If I wasn’t as sexy for my cat, I probably wouldn’t have came back. I’m so sexy, I came back. Too sexy for my cat, too sexy to wear a sleeve or a bracelet [on my knee], so I had to come back. I felt sexy, I felt like my team was working, I felt like we wanted it. We just wanted to come together collectively. Play hard, do it together. … I’m definitely too sexy for my cat, definitely, we know that. I’m also too tough to let a meniscus surgery keep me out for six weeks. I’m too sexy for the cat.”

We must note that this phrase is not utter nonsense — it’s actually a line from one-hit wonder Right Said Fred’s 1991 smash “I’m Too Sexy.” For those too young to remember, the song is about a man so sexy that he cannot function in the world.

I’m pretty sure the proper lyrics are “I’m too sexy for my hat,” Ron. I mean, I’m 100% straight so I’ve never heard of Right Said Fred, but if I had heard of him I could guarantee that he doesn’t say “I’m too sexy for my cat.” Nice try Ron, nice try.

1. Rask has looked outstanding so far. Tuukka time indeed.
2. Tyler Seguin has added some muscle and seems to be throwing his body around a little bit more. Very nice to see from the speedy forward. Kid has all the skill in the world, good seeing him add to his game in this regard.
3. Dougie Hamilton is the real deal. This kid is the puck moving PP defenseman that the Bruins have needed for a while. Seidenberg went down, and Hamilton looked really nice out there alongside Zdeno Chara. I’m excited to watch him progress as he gets more acclimated to the pro game.
4. Patrice Bergeron is still the most underrated player in the league. Selke trophy or not, this kid needs more national recognition.
5. The refs may still be a little rusty. Absolutely horrible call on Chara at the end of overtime there.
6. PK has been very strong so far. PP looks better, but still looks like a work in progress. Will be interested to watch Dougie Hamilton’s impact on the PP as he matures.

And the most obvious but also most important thing of all: 2-0 with 4 out of a possible 4 points.

Thank God for hockey. I’m still a little butthurt over that Pats loss, but this certainly helps soothe the pain. Hockey is back indeed.

I. Can’t. Stop. Valerie Malone FTW.

Like I said: Kelly Kapowski hasn’t lost a single MPH off of her fastball.

Are you kidding me right now? A picture of a fully covered woman hasn’t made my dick move this much since before the whole youporn era. Kelly Kapowsky? Valerie Malone? This chick was a life changer for a young Frank Beamers Neck. I’ve probably beat off to her more times than anyone else in my life. I used to watch 90210 just to load the spankbank with images of this beautiful creation. I Can’t believe she is still bringing the heat like this. #LOVE

I’m so happy for the NHL right now. If it wasn’t for this Bruins game that’s about to start I don’t think I’d be able to convince myself that things are going to be OK. I know I wasn’t on the field, but that AFC championship game was emasculating, and I can feel it in my loins. I feel bad for all of my idiot buddies that don’t like hockey. As bad as last nights loss was, I’m still like a kid on Christmas morning with the start of this Bruins season. Meanwhile everyone that “doesn’t understand” hockey is still crying in their Cheerios right now.

Thank god for hockey. #LetsGoBruins

This is the shittiest screenshot i’ve ever seen so I went ahead and decoded it for you:

Proud of my husband and the Pats. By the way, if anyone is bored, please go to Ray Lewis’ Wikipedia page. 6 kids, 4 wives. Acquitted for murder. Paid a family off. Yay! What a hall of fame player! A true role model!

Preach Mrs. Welker, Preach!!!